ODE TO EVERGLADES CHALLENGE 2011

Lots of fun stuff on the WaterTribe Forum as excitement draws near. Warren Richey (Sharkchow), author of my favorite book ‘Without a Paddle’ has offered up a Poem.  Read the book, and the poem below, I’m mentioned in both :)

      

ODE TO EVERGLADES CHALLENGE 2011
With apologies to the Gilligan's Island theme song.)

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful race.
That started from old Mullet Key
Seventy boats in a chase.
Their goal was a place clled Largo
Three hundred miles away.
It beckoned in the distance like a cherished love,
The promise of a clam, clear bay.
By paddle, sail, tide, and drift
The intrepid mariners pushed off.
Through blasting wind and baking sun
To all dangers they did scoff.
They took to the sea like fish or duck,
Bumpy, Whale, and Juice,
There's Paddlemaker, SavannahDan
Let no one call a truce.
Cap'n Krunch, Penguinman,
An Ocean Diva, too
Sundance, Seiche, and Sewsew,
Making a bee-line through the blue.
Here's Lugnut and old Foghorn,
Whose name implies some gas,
These old salts have no intent
To end the race dead last.
Now Jarhead riding a shadowy moon
Is known for amazing displays.
He's been this route so many times
It only takes two days.
There's Ed and Joe, gliding home
Aboard their gleaming craft.
And Percival with Blackwater Knight
Awake so long, they're daft.
Iszatarock? Iszatarock?
I really want to know.
Is that a rock before my boat,
Or just my big fat toe?
ArdieO, Oh ArdieO,
Why are you so fast?
Don't you know the sweetest thing
Is to make the journey last?
Toby, Toby, Toby,
What do you have to say?
Is that Whitecaps on the water,
Or sharks in Florida Bay?
Dr. Kayak and Sand dollar,
What got you in this race?
The sun, the moon, the open sky,
Or the persistent, grueling pace?
There's catman and KiwiBird
Laughing down the coast,
Scaring off the wildlife,
Leaving just a ghost.
Mosquito Magnet, what a name,
The funniest we're ever heard,
He draws those flies from the Glades
As well as any turd.
Royd and Royd, now there's a pair,
Those two know the way.
The problem is the way they know
Is via Hudson Bay.
Watch closely, pay attention
There goes Iron Bob,
And DolphinGal, and Hammerstroke,
Is he paddling a Saab?
Suddenly, the tide rolls back,
Sucked into sponge so large.
Fear not, it's only Scareman Brad
In a giant Georgia barge.
In every race there's a race within
This one just the same.
Paul and Alan under sail
Share Sandy Bottom's name.
But Dawn in her kayak cramped
With soggy guts and grit
Is toughest of the three,
And that's no line of...
bull.
For Bob and Janet this is no task,
The challenge is vacation nice.
They came from northern Michigan
After months of paddling ice.
What noise is this from darkened sea
That injures tender ear.
It's Sharkchow hoisting high above
A tome both fun and dear.
WITHOUT A PADDLE, buy it now
No better book to read.
It's light and fast, just like your boat,
And that is guaranteed.
In every race at some dark point
It comes to paddle or die.
In this one too there will be times
When you'll wish you could fly.
Win the day, push on through
Leave nothing on the shore.
When mind retreats and turns to goo,
Well, that's the time to snore.
Don't waste the night, you'll tell yourself
Stay in the boat and go.
Just not too long or you will see
A Technicolor show.
What's that? What's that, cried Salty Frog
Gesturing at the sky.
It's just your shadow in the wind
It comes before you die.
Don't die! Don't die, commanded Chief,
Death is not to do.
But if you slip beneath the waves,
For God's stake, please don't sue.